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.But instead Cathy’s here, and all Jacob can think about is my father—the one Sedlak he truly cares about.And now I’m deep into crazy and have to keep going.“He—it’s almost like he was having some kind of breakdown.He got really upset and said he had to see you.I don’t even know why.” I realize there’s a hole in my story, so I make a clumsy attempt to cover it.“I tried your phone, but you didn’t answer.”“Really? You tried me?” He’s pulling the phone out of his pocket.“I didn’t feel anything.” He checks it.“No missed calls.…You sure you have the right number for me?”“I thought I did.” This is what happens when you lie.You stop making sense, and impossibilities pile on improbabilities.“Weird.Anyway, I figured I’d just check to see if you were home, but since you’re busy—hey, Cathy—I’ll just go back and tell him you can’t come right now.No worries.”“But you said he’s really upset about something?”“Yeah, but it’s okay, really.I’ll just deal with it.”He turns to Cathy.“Would you be okay if I just run over and come back as soon as I can? I know it’s rude, but—”“Oh god, of course you should go.” Man, she’s sweet.Her large bony face is radiant with generosity and a genuine desire to help out.“I’m also happy to come with you if you think I could help in any way.”I say quickly, “I think—given how Dad is tonight—maybe it should just be family.” Then I remember Jacob isn’t actually family.“You know what I mean.”“I completely understand,” says Cathy.I flash her a forced smile.“But seriously, Jacob, you don’t have to—”“Come on.” He grabs some keys from a little table near the door.As he shifts, I get a glimpse of the apartment.It’s small and dark, and the few bits of furniture in it are ratty looking.Then Jacob’s back in the doorway, blocking the view.“Let’s go.”Oh god, what a mess.I say good-bye to Cathy and apologize to her for interrupting.“Are you kidding me? It’s so totally fine.Take your time, both of you.I’ve got a book in my bag.I’m happy to curl up and read.Sounds kind of nice actually.”“Thanks.” Jacob smiles at her.“I’ll be back as soon as I can.”“Oh, and Keats?” she says.“Do you want to join us for dinner afterward?”“I’ll probably stay with my dad,” I say faintly.“But thanks.”“Well, there’s plenty of food if you change your mind.” She waves us out the door and then closes it behind us.His casa is her casa apparently.We walk down the stairs in silence.Once we’re on the street, Jacob says, “We better drive separately.I’ll meet you over there,” and starts to head toward his car, which is parked in one of the two driveway spaces.I’d say that meant he was lucky except it probably means he’s stayed in these student apartments the longest of anyone there, which doesn’t seem particularly lucky at all.Just sad.“Wait.” I can’t let him go all the way to my father’s.I wonder who’d be more confused once he got there, Jacob or Dad.“I need to tell you something first.”“What is it?”“Come here.” I don’t want to be where Cathy can look out of a window and see us, so I lead him around the corner.“What are you doing?” he asks.I turn and face him.“I lied,” I whisper.“What?”I’m so embarrassed I want to crawl under the nearest house foundation.“I lied.I didn’t come here because of my dad.As far as I know, he’s fine.”“I don’t understand.”“I came to see you.To talk to you.But then Cathy was there, and you asked me if it was about my father, and I didn’t know what to say.”He takes a step back and runs his fingers through his hair.“I am so confused.So your father wasn’t asking for me tonight?” I shake my head.“Why did we just go through all that then? Why didn’t you—” He stops.His eyes narrow.“What’s going on, Keats?”I wish it were dark out so he couldn’t see my face, but it’s May and the sun is taking forever to disappear completely.“I just wanted to talk to you.”“You lied about trying to call me first, didn’t you?”I nod, my face turning hot with shame.He crosses his arms.“Why’d you come over then?”I wish he’d show some sign of softening toward me.It would make this so much easier.But his look is hard, his body language is hard, his expression is hard.I swallow hard.“I wanted you to know that I broke up with Tom.”He registers this with a slight raise of his eyebrows, but the rest of his expression doesn’t change.His face stays stony, his eyes cold, his voice flat.“I’m sorry.I know what a long relationship that was.It can’t have been easy.”“No, not easy.But it was what I needed to do.”“Then I’m happy for you.”I don’t know what else to say.This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.He was supposed to be overwhelmed with joy at the news.I thought he was waiting for me, hoping I’d come to him.I thought he wanted me and the only thing keeping us apart was my loyalty to Tom.I thought all his previous anger was simply frustrated desire.Apparently I was wrong.“I’ve moved back in with my mom,” I say because the silence is going on too long.“For now, anyway.I don’t know what I’ll do when the house gets sold.”“Your father might like the company.”“Yeah.I guess.”Another pause.He glances up the street.“I should go back up to Cathy, but I don’t know what to tell her.”“You can tell her I lied if you want.”“Thank you,” he says politely.“But she’ll want to know why.And I don’t have an answer for that.”“You know why,” I say almost angrily.“You can pretend you don’t, but you do.”He uncrosses his arms and sticks his hands in his pockets.“Maybe.Not entirely.I’m gathering it has something to do with your being bored or lonely and thinking I’d come running when you called.Something like that?”“No.” Although he’s not actually wrong, is he? Except it’s more than that.“It’s more than that,” I say [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.But instead Cathy’s here, and all Jacob can think about is my father—the one Sedlak he truly cares about.And now I’m deep into crazy and have to keep going.“He—it’s almost like he was having some kind of breakdown.He got really upset and said he had to see you.I don’t even know why.” I realize there’s a hole in my story, so I make a clumsy attempt to cover it.“I tried your phone, but you didn’t answer.”“Really? You tried me?” He’s pulling the phone out of his pocket.“I didn’t feel anything.” He checks it.“No missed calls.…You sure you have the right number for me?”“I thought I did.” This is what happens when you lie.You stop making sense, and impossibilities pile on improbabilities.“Weird.Anyway, I figured I’d just check to see if you were home, but since you’re busy—hey, Cathy—I’ll just go back and tell him you can’t come right now.No worries.”“But you said he’s really upset about something?”“Yeah, but it’s okay, really.I’ll just deal with it.”He turns to Cathy.“Would you be okay if I just run over and come back as soon as I can? I know it’s rude, but—”“Oh god, of course you should go.” Man, she’s sweet.Her large bony face is radiant with generosity and a genuine desire to help out.“I’m also happy to come with you if you think I could help in any way.”I say quickly, “I think—given how Dad is tonight—maybe it should just be family.” Then I remember Jacob isn’t actually family.“You know what I mean.”“I completely understand,” says Cathy.I flash her a forced smile.“But seriously, Jacob, you don’t have to—”“Come on.” He grabs some keys from a little table near the door.As he shifts, I get a glimpse of the apartment.It’s small and dark, and the few bits of furniture in it are ratty looking.Then Jacob’s back in the doorway, blocking the view.“Let’s go.”Oh god, what a mess.I say good-bye to Cathy and apologize to her for interrupting.“Are you kidding me? It’s so totally fine.Take your time, both of you.I’ve got a book in my bag.I’m happy to curl up and read.Sounds kind of nice actually.”“Thanks.” Jacob smiles at her.“I’ll be back as soon as I can.”“Oh, and Keats?” she says.“Do you want to join us for dinner afterward?”“I’ll probably stay with my dad,” I say faintly.“But thanks.”“Well, there’s plenty of food if you change your mind.” She waves us out the door and then closes it behind us.His casa is her casa apparently.We walk down the stairs in silence.Once we’re on the street, Jacob says, “We better drive separately.I’ll meet you over there,” and starts to head toward his car, which is parked in one of the two driveway spaces.I’d say that meant he was lucky except it probably means he’s stayed in these student apartments the longest of anyone there, which doesn’t seem particularly lucky at all.Just sad.“Wait.” I can’t let him go all the way to my father’s.I wonder who’d be more confused once he got there, Jacob or Dad.“I need to tell you something first.”“What is it?”“Come here.” I don’t want to be where Cathy can look out of a window and see us, so I lead him around the corner.“What are you doing?” he asks.I turn and face him.“I lied,” I whisper.“What?”I’m so embarrassed I want to crawl under the nearest house foundation.“I lied.I didn’t come here because of my dad.As far as I know, he’s fine.”“I don’t understand.”“I came to see you.To talk to you.But then Cathy was there, and you asked me if it was about my father, and I didn’t know what to say.”He takes a step back and runs his fingers through his hair.“I am so confused.So your father wasn’t asking for me tonight?” I shake my head.“Why did we just go through all that then? Why didn’t you—” He stops.His eyes narrow.“What’s going on, Keats?”I wish it were dark out so he couldn’t see my face, but it’s May and the sun is taking forever to disappear completely.“I just wanted to talk to you.”“You lied about trying to call me first, didn’t you?”I nod, my face turning hot with shame.He crosses his arms.“Why’d you come over then?”I wish he’d show some sign of softening toward me.It would make this so much easier.But his look is hard, his body language is hard, his expression is hard.I swallow hard.“I wanted you to know that I broke up with Tom.”He registers this with a slight raise of his eyebrows, but the rest of his expression doesn’t change.His face stays stony, his eyes cold, his voice flat.“I’m sorry.I know what a long relationship that was.It can’t have been easy.”“No, not easy.But it was what I needed to do.”“Then I’m happy for you.”I don’t know what else to say.This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.He was supposed to be overwhelmed with joy at the news.I thought he was waiting for me, hoping I’d come to him.I thought he wanted me and the only thing keeping us apart was my loyalty to Tom.I thought all his previous anger was simply frustrated desire.Apparently I was wrong.“I’ve moved back in with my mom,” I say because the silence is going on too long.“For now, anyway.I don’t know what I’ll do when the house gets sold.”“Your father might like the company.”“Yeah.I guess.”Another pause.He glances up the street.“I should go back up to Cathy, but I don’t know what to tell her.”“You can tell her I lied if you want.”“Thank you,” he says politely.“But she’ll want to know why.And I don’t have an answer for that.”“You know why,” I say almost angrily.“You can pretend you don’t, but you do.”He uncrosses his arms and sticks his hands in his pockets.“Maybe.Not entirely.I’m gathering it has something to do with your being bored or lonely and thinking I’d come running when you called.Something like that?”“No.” Although he’s not actually wrong, is he? Except it’s more than that.“It’s more than that,” I say [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]