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."She begged me to take her home.We hadn't been here six months when she wasdesperate to go back to England.But I asked her to give it another year.I hoped that inanother year everything wouldn't seem so strange to her.Jindabyne would be moreestablished.I planned to add on to the house, make it something more like what she wasaccustomed to.But by the end of the year she was dead.""Would you have gone back to England at the end of that year, if she had still wantedto?""Yes.But I'd have hated it." He snagged his fingers in her hair and tipped her head backso he could look into her face.A breeze kicked up, scuttling the dry leaves on the verandaand bringing with it the smell of gum trees and kangaroo grass and wide-open spaces.The smell of Australia.A light she could only have described as visionary appeared in his eyes, shining throughall the pain and the guilt."This is where I belong," he said quietly."I never really felt asif I belonged in England.Maybe it was because I wasn't born there, because when myparents sent me away to school there, I didn't want to go.I grew up dreaming about theday I'd leave it again.At first I thought I'd go back to the West Indies, or maybe Canada,but the more I learned about New South Wales." He ran his hands up and down her back."There's something exciting, somethingwonderful being built here, Bryony, even if the colony hasn't gotten off to the best ofstarts.I want to be a part of it.I wanted to be here to help make it as good as it can be."The light in his eyes dimmed suddenly."But not at the cost of Laura's life."She laid the palms of her hands against his cheeks."What do you think? That becauseyou were able to stay here when Laura died, that her death was somehow your fault?" Hisfist tightened in her hair so hard it almost hurt, but she went on."She must have wantedchildren, too, Hayden.She must have wanted Simon, even if she was afraid of what shehad to go through to have him.I wanted Philip, but I was so terribly afraid of having him.A week before I was brought to bed with him, another woman on the ship had a child,only she didn't make it." Bryony stopped.She would never forget the deep and hollowplunge of that woman's dead body hitting the water."I was so afraid.And I felt so terriblyalone."He drew her head against his chest, and the movement of his fingers in her hair becamegentler, more of a caress."Sometimes I think we men are such a selfish, uncaring lot, Iwonder why you women put up with us." His hands trailed slowly down her neck."Wetake our pleasures of your bodies, and we take joy and pride in the children you presentus with, yet how little thought most of us give to the pain and danger you must suffer forit all."His hand slid down between her breasts to rest on her stomach."I could have planted mychild in your belly already," he said, his breath soft and warm against her ear."Does thatthought frighten you?"Bryony laid her hand over his, pressing it to her."No." And it was only partially a lie.Tohave another child, Hayden's child.Just the thought of it was enough to send a ripple ofdesire through her body.She was fairly certain his child was there already.She thought that maybe now was thetime to tell him.But his lips were warm against her neck, his hands soft and movingexquisitely, expertly to arouse her body."God, Bryony." he said, his voice hoarse."Ican't seem to get enough of you."She pressed herself against the hardness of his dark, strong body."Don't," she said, withmore desperation than she'd intended as she reached up to drag his mouth down to hers."Don't ever get enough of me."CHAPTER TWENTY-THREEIt was April, and cold enough at night for Bryony to be grateful for the warm fire Hayden kindled in their room every evening before they went to bed.But by mid-afternoon thesun could still be surprisingly warm, and the grass on the hillsides was still a goldenbrown, waiting for the refreshing rains of winter.Despite the cold nights, Bryony watched in vain for a blaze of autumn color in thesurrounding bush.As the days shortened and wood smoke drifted on a freshening breezeand birds filled the sky, no deep reds and oranges and yellows appeared to splash theirvivid hues across this strange, gray-green countryside.She didn't realize how much shewas missing them until one day when Hayden surprised her with a cart full of familiarsaplings ashes and chestnuts and oaks and elms.She fell laughing upon his neck, and he kissed her with swift, surprising tenderness [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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."She begged me to take her home.We hadn't been here six months when she wasdesperate to go back to England.But I asked her to give it another year.I hoped that inanother year everything wouldn't seem so strange to her.Jindabyne would be moreestablished.I planned to add on to the house, make it something more like what she wasaccustomed to.But by the end of the year she was dead.""Would you have gone back to England at the end of that year, if she had still wantedto?""Yes.But I'd have hated it." He snagged his fingers in her hair and tipped her head backso he could look into her face.A breeze kicked up, scuttling the dry leaves on the verandaand bringing with it the smell of gum trees and kangaroo grass and wide-open spaces.The smell of Australia.A light she could only have described as visionary appeared in his eyes, shining throughall the pain and the guilt."This is where I belong," he said quietly."I never really felt asif I belonged in England.Maybe it was because I wasn't born there, because when myparents sent me away to school there, I didn't want to go.I grew up dreaming about theday I'd leave it again.At first I thought I'd go back to the West Indies, or maybe Canada,but the more I learned about New South Wales." He ran his hands up and down her back."There's something exciting, somethingwonderful being built here, Bryony, even if the colony hasn't gotten off to the best ofstarts.I want to be a part of it.I wanted to be here to help make it as good as it can be."The light in his eyes dimmed suddenly."But not at the cost of Laura's life."She laid the palms of her hands against his cheeks."What do you think? That becauseyou were able to stay here when Laura died, that her death was somehow your fault?" Hisfist tightened in her hair so hard it almost hurt, but she went on."She must have wantedchildren, too, Hayden.She must have wanted Simon, even if she was afraid of what shehad to go through to have him.I wanted Philip, but I was so terribly afraid of having him.A week before I was brought to bed with him, another woman on the ship had a child,only she didn't make it." Bryony stopped.She would never forget the deep and hollowplunge of that woman's dead body hitting the water."I was so afraid.And I felt so terriblyalone."He drew her head against his chest, and the movement of his fingers in her hair becamegentler, more of a caress."Sometimes I think we men are such a selfish, uncaring lot, Iwonder why you women put up with us." His hands trailed slowly down her neck."Wetake our pleasures of your bodies, and we take joy and pride in the children you presentus with, yet how little thought most of us give to the pain and danger you must suffer forit all."His hand slid down between her breasts to rest on her stomach."I could have planted mychild in your belly already," he said, his breath soft and warm against her ear."Does thatthought frighten you?"Bryony laid her hand over his, pressing it to her."No." And it was only partially a lie.Tohave another child, Hayden's child.Just the thought of it was enough to send a ripple ofdesire through her body.She was fairly certain his child was there already.She thought that maybe now was thetime to tell him.But his lips were warm against her neck, his hands soft and movingexquisitely, expertly to arouse her body."God, Bryony." he said, his voice hoarse."Ican't seem to get enough of you."She pressed herself against the hardness of his dark, strong body."Don't," she said, withmore desperation than she'd intended as she reached up to drag his mouth down to hers."Don't ever get enough of me."CHAPTER TWENTY-THREEIt was April, and cold enough at night for Bryony to be grateful for the warm fire Hayden kindled in their room every evening before they went to bed.But by mid-afternoon thesun could still be surprisingly warm, and the grass on the hillsides was still a goldenbrown, waiting for the refreshing rains of winter.Despite the cold nights, Bryony watched in vain for a blaze of autumn color in thesurrounding bush.As the days shortened and wood smoke drifted on a freshening breezeand birds filled the sky, no deep reds and oranges and yellows appeared to splash theirvivid hues across this strange, gray-green countryside.She didn't realize how much shewas missing them until one day when Hayden surprised her with a cart full of familiarsaplings ashes and chestnuts and oaks and elms.She fell laughing upon his neck, and he kissed her with swift, surprising tenderness [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]