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.“I don’t do commercial fiction,” she said.“I know it has its place in popular culture, but I always turn to the classics.The classics calm me.”“So, who do you turn to the most?” I asked.“Oh, my dear.I went to Smith.I received my master’s degree in literature.I could go on and on about my favorites.”“How about if you just pick one? I also have my masters degree in literature.”“From which school?”“The University of Maine.”“Oh,” she said.“Oh, I see.”“So I have to ask.Which author is your favorite? You know—of the classics.”“Well, that’s easy,” she said.“James Joyce.J’adore Joyce.J’adore ‘Ulysses’.”“Not one of my favorites, but I know his work well enough, especially ‘Ulysses.’ What is your theory behind his scrotumtightening sea?”“His what?”“His scrotumtightening sea.From Telemachus.Certainly you have theories on that.”“You make it sound so vulgar.”“Do I? Joyce is the one who wrote about it, and this is just a conversation about your favorite author and his most-famous book.”“And you had to go there?”“Naturally.It’s one of the book’s most talked about scenes—you must know that.All academics know that.So, let me ask you—what do you make of Joyce’s association of the sea with birth and mothers, and with death and drowning?”She gave me a look that suggested she was stunned that a University of Maine graduate could even talk on such a topic, and when she moved to speak, her words seemed to fail her.I pounced on the opportunity.“And remember Mulligan's two completely different ways of referring to the sea,” I said.“If the sea is linked with mothers, then how do fathers figure in Telemachus? It’s an age-old question.Certainly at some point during your time at Smith, one of your literature teachers must have raised the question.”“I—”“Or maybe they didn’t.”“We never spoke about scrotums at Smith.”“And that, my dear friends, is a life unlived,” Blackwell said.CHAPTER EIGHTEEN“That woman is nothing but pure poison,” Jennifer said as we watched Tootie and Addy move into the crowd.“At least Addy isn’t,” Alex said.“Agreed,” Blackwell said.“Regardless of the fact that he’s living a lie, he’s a kind man.I’ve come to appreciate him over the years.What he has with Tootie can’t be easy for him.But I get it—it’s his position and his generation that keeps him in the closet and with her—as sad as that is.I just wish he’d tell his family to go to hell and come out, already.”“Oh, God,” I said.“What your problem?” Blackwell asked.“Mexico’s version of Jessica Rabbit is here.”“Why do you and Jennifer always talk in tongues?”“And I think she just spotted me.Shit.”“Who are you talking about?”“Epifania Zapopa.How did she get invited? Look at her.Her boobs are at war with her dress, which can barely contain the rest of her body.She’s a mess, just like the last time I saw her.”“She received an invite because she’s also a patron of the arts.When her husband Charles was murdered, she received his fortune, which was…what? Five hundred million or so, Alex?”“Something like that.”“People rely on that fortune,” Blackwell said.“She gets invited everywhere because of it.”“Oh, I’ve heard about her money,” I said.“From whom?”“Marco Boss.She apparently slept with him at some point, which she shared with me when Marco and I attended Julian West’s birthday party together.Apparently, she assumed that I was sleeping with him because she kept referring to his private parts as a python, as if I knew all about it—and weren’t we both lucky to have had a piece of that python.To say the least, it was uncomfortable.I’ll admit that she has a zest for life, but she has zip for manners.”“They call her the loose cannon of Park Avenue,” Alex said.“I wonder why.I was with her for only a few minutes, and never knew what was going to come out of her mouth when we had our festive little conversation.That’s probably a good thing because half the time, I couldn’t understand her.” I looked at Alex.“Do you know her?”“I’ve met her a few times over the years.”I turned to Tank, who was standing behind me.“How about you?”“Oh, I’ve met her.Through Alex.”“I guess I’m the lucky one,” Jennifer said.“I’ve never met her.”“Prepare to lose your virginity again,” I said.“Oh, aren’t you clever?”“She used to clean toilets,” Blackwell said.“All up and down Park and Fifth.She was known for her scrubbing.Her absolute conviction.Then she cleaned Charles’ toilet, and let’s just say she did a thorough job.She was the cause of his divorce.Then they married.The rest of it you know.End of story.”“That story has a new beginning.It’s still a nightmare, and it’s headed straight in our direction.Brace yourselves.”We watched Epifania cut through the crowd toward us with a wide smile on her face.She was wearing a glimmering, strapless black evening gown that left zero to the imagination [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.“I don’t do commercial fiction,” she said.“I know it has its place in popular culture, but I always turn to the classics.The classics calm me.”“So, who do you turn to the most?” I asked.“Oh, my dear.I went to Smith.I received my master’s degree in literature.I could go on and on about my favorites.”“How about if you just pick one? I also have my masters degree in literature.”“From which school?”“The University of Maine.”“Oh,” she said.“Oh, I see.”“So I have to ask.Which author is your favorite? You know—of the classics.”“Well, that’s easy,” she said.“James Joyce.J’adore Joyce.J’adore ‘Ulysses’.”“Not one of my favorites, but I know his work well enough, especially ‘Ulysses.’ What is your theory behind his scrotumtightening sea?”“His what?”“His scrotumtightening sea.From Telemachus.Certainly you have theories on that.”“You make it sound so vulgar.”“Do I? Joyce is the one who wrote about it, and this is just a conversation about your favorite author and his most-famous book.”“And you had to go there?”“Naturally.It’s one of the book’s most talked about scenes—you must know that.All academics know that.So, let me ask you—what do you make of Joyce’s association of the sea with birth and mothers, and with death and drowning?”She gave me a look that suggested she was stunned that a University of Maine graduate could even talk on such a topic, and when she moved to speak, her words seemed to fail her.I pounced on the opportunity.“And remember Mulligan's two completely different ways of referring to the sea,” I said.“If the sea is linked with mothers, then how do fathers figure in Telemachus? It’s an age-old question.Certainly at some point during your time at Smith, one of your literature teachers must have raised the question.”“I—”“Or maybe they didn’t.”“We never spoke about scrotums at Smith.”“And that, my dear friends, is a life unlived,” Blackwell said.CHAPTER EIGHTEEN“That woman is nothing but pure poison,” Jennifer said as we watched Tootie and Addy move into the crowd.“At least Addy isn’t,” Alex said.“Agreed,” Blackwell said.“Regardless of the fact that he’s living a lie, he’s a kind man.I’ve come to appreciate him over the years.What he has with Tootie can’t be easy for him.But I get it—it’s his position and his generation that keeps him in the closet and with her—as sad as that is.I just wish he’d tell his family to go to hell and come out, already.”“Oh, God,” I said.“What your problem?” Blackwell asked.“Mexico’s version of Jessica Rabbit is here.”“Why do you and Jennifer always talk in tongues?”“And I think she just spotted me.Shit.”“Who are you talking about?”“Epifania Zapopa.How did she get invited? Look at her.Her boobs are at war with her dress, which can barely contain the rest of her body.She’s a mess, just like the last time I saw her.”“She received an invite because she’s also a patron of the arts.When her husband Charles was murdered, she received his fortune, which was…what? Five hundred million or so, Alex?”“Something like that.”“People rely on that fortune,” Blackwell said.“She gets invited everywhere because of it.”“Oh, I’ve heard about her money,” I said.“From whom?”“Marco Boss.She apparently slept with him at some point, which she shared with me when Marco and I attended Julian West’s birthday party together.Apparently, she assumed that I was sleeping with him because she kept referring to his private parts as a python, as if I knew all about it—and weren’t we both lucky to have had a piece of that python.To say the least, it was uncomfortable.I’ll admit that she has a zest for life, but she has zip for manners.”“They call her the loose cannon of Park Avenue,” Alex said.“I wonder why.I was with her for only a few minutes, and never knew what was going to come out of her mouth when we had our festive little conversation.That’s probably a good thing because half the time, I couldn’t understand her.” I looked at Alex.“Do you know her?”“I’ve met her a few times over the years.”I turned to Tank, who was standing behind me.“How about you?”“Oh, I’ve met her.Through Alex.”“I guess I’m the lucky one,” Jennifer said.“I’ve never met her.”“Prepare to lose your virginity again,” I said.“Oh, aren’t you clever?”“She used to clean toilets,” Blackwell said.“All up and down Park and Fifth.She was known for her scrubbing.Her absolute conviction.Then she cleaned Charles’ toilet, and let’s just say she did a thorough job.She was the cause of his divorce.Then they married.The rest of it you know.End of story.”“That story has a new beginning.It’s still a nightmare, and it’s headed straight in our direction.Brace yourselves.”We watched Epifania cut through the crowd toward us with a wide smile on her face.She was wearing a glimmering, strapless black evening gown that left zero to the imagination [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]