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.Five minutes later he discovered Ben standing on the edge of the dugout beyond thebarn.He forced the words past his suddenly dry throat. Got some interesting informationfor you. Ben turned, his brows furrowed together. What you doing here? Wanted to talk.You got a few minutes? His father grunted. I took Allison out for a ride the other day, to show her the land. Ben scowled harder. You really marrying that woman? We re engaged. You knock her up? Not only was his father an ass, he had yet to catch up with the twenty-first century. No.That s not a reason people get married anymore. Well, she sure the hell must have some excuse to be willing to get tied to a loser likeyou. Gabe pulled in his temper. This isn t a discussion about Allison and my relationship.Iwanted to let you know she had some great ideas for the ranch you do remember thatshe works in the industry.She s a highly respected consultant. Ben crossed his arms. If she s willing to get hooked up with you, I m not sure howhighly respected the woman could be.Doesn t get any from me. Gabe chose to ignore the stupid comments and press ahead. We can make a fewchanges and start increasing our profits.Aren t you at least interested in what she had tosay about that? His father stepped closer. I m not interested in a woman coming and telling me howto run my place.I don t care to hear any ideas from some high-strung pup who can tkeep his responsibilities in line and has to go chasing a skirt to find a way to becomeimportant.Is that why you hooked up with her? So people in this town might finallyrespect you? It s not going to happen. Ben spat to the side. The only reason I don t kickyou out is you at least have the guts to halfway do your job on a daily basis. Gabe held in the words he wanted to scream.To tell his father to shove the ranch uphis ass, and that Gabe was leaving and never coming back.The same thing tied his hands as had made him return years ago.Dana.And Rafe.Ben reached down and grabbed something from the tall grass before walking awaywithout another word.Gabe stared after the man, the sense of lost opportunities and lost hope slowlycrowded out as he realized what was in his father s hand.Dammit.The cardboard box from the kitchen.Rage exploded like a long-set mine.He pictured the expression on his ma s face, onAllison s, as they d cooed over the tiny kittens.It might have made no sense, but his limbs were already moving.He threw his hat tothe side and raced to the end of the dugout.The water was murky with springtimerunoff, but the ditch wasn t that wide.He stepped forward and leaned over, handsreaching for the bottom.Hoping that whatever Ben had used could be found quickly.He ended up with his head under the dirty water, hands grasping at weeds and rottingstraw that had blown and settled in the waterhole.He rose and sucked in a breath, divingagain and moving farther toward the middle.He was nearly out of air when his fingerscaught on the edge of a rough sack.Feet to the bottom to propel himself upward, Gabe pulled the burlap free, lifting itover his head.He scrambled one-handed up the narrow embankment, mud coating hisclothes.The chill of the water not even registering as his anger burned.Yes, at times the farm cats got out of control, but they didn t have too many right now.No need to go and drown the little things.His fingers felt like wooden sticks as he tore at the knot.A heavy rock pinned the sackto the ground, motionless lumps lying next to it.A beam of sunshine hit the ground to his left, spotlighting the sad little creatures he pulled one at a time from the open bag.Motionless, their soft fur matted and clumped totheir lifeless bodies.Gabe fought the tears that a grown man shouldn t shed, but damn itall, this was part and parcel of how fucked up his life had become.He wasn t dead, but at times it seemed being dead would be easier.And it was hisfather who had tied the sack tight and thrown him in.Regret at having been too late tore through him, and he growled in frustration.Tinybodies lay in accusation that what he had done was too late and too little.That it would always be too late and too little.Gabe jammed on his hat and sat back on his heels.Soaking wet, mud covered fromhead to toe.Staring down, his heart breaking over a bunch of useless, insignificantkittens.The urge to give up was so damn strong right then.To become bitter and cold like hisfather would be preferable to the pain eating him inside.He moved the kittens back to the sack to carry them to be buried somewhere.Oneafter another he lay them gently next to each other, swear words filling his mind alongwith the frustration and confusion.One twitched.He paused, lifting the soggy black body and placing it carefully in his palm.He gentlyrubbed up the creature s chest and neck, like he would a newborn lamb to remove themucus after it was born.He didn t dare let the flicker of hope inside grow too fast.It was like watching a candle on a gusty windowsill quivering to stay lit.The kitten schest moved again, and when its tiny mouth opened in a pitiful meow, Gabe bit his lip tostop from shouting out loud.He tucked the little thing inside his shirt against his body, close enough that even withhim soaking wet there was heat.It cuddled in and planted its paws on his skin, needle-sharp claws popping out to poke him, and he didn t give a shit that he was being used asa pincushion.It was a hell of a lot harder to one-handed finish the grisly task of caring for the kittenswho hadn t made it, but he was too grateful and too spent to care how long it took orhow awkward it was.The tiny creature nestled against his ribs was like a miniature spotof hope.Fuck his father.The man had told him again and again he was worthless.Why Gabecontinued to try had always been for his own reasons.For his ma and brother.For hisown soul to keep alive the good things he knew about himself in spite of whatever Bensaid.He wouldn t let the bitterness Ben kept dumping on him leach into his soul anymore.There with the sunshine coming down like in some great cathedral, Gabe had his ownrevelation.He was done fighting Ben s way.He was going to win this damn warbetween them, and he was going to use his own methods to get there.And heaven help Ben if he wasn t able to accept that.Allison wasn t exactly fussing it was a teenager joining them for dinner for Pete s sake.But she knew that of all the people who might see through what she and Gabe weredoing, his kid brother was the most likely [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.Five minutes later he discovered Ben standing on the edge of the dugout beyond thebarn.He forced the words past his suddenly dry throat. Got some interesting informationfor you. Ben turned, his brows furrowed together. What you doing here? Wanted to talk.You got a few minutes? His father grunted. I took Allison out for a ride the other day, to show her the land. Ben scowled harder. You really marrying that woman? We re engaged. You knock her up? Not only was his father an ass, he had yet to catch up with the twenty-first century. No.That s not a reason people get married anymore. Well, she sure the hell must have some excuse to be willing to get tied to a loser likeyou. Gabe pulled in his temper. This isn t a discussion about Allison and my relationship.Iwanted to let you know she had some great ideas for the ranch you do remember thatshe works in the industry.She s a highly respected consultant. Ben crossed his arms. If she s willing to get hooked up with you, I m not sure howhighly respected the woman could be.Doesn t get any from me. Gabe chose to ignore the stupid comments and press ahead. We can make a fewchanges and start increasing our profits.Aren t you at least interested in what she had tosay about that? His father stepped closer. I m not interested in a woman coming and telling me howto run my place.I don t care to hear any ideas from some high-strung pup who can tkeep his responsibilities in line and has to go chasing a skirt to find a way to becomeimportant.Is that why you hooked up with her? So people in this town might finallyrespect you? It s not going to happen. Ben spat to the side. The only reason I don t kickyou out is you at least have the guts to halfway do your job on a daily basis. Gabe held in the words he wanted to scream.To tell his father to shove the ranch uphis ass, and that Gabe was leaving and never coming back.The same thing tied his hands as had made him return years ago.Dana.And Rafe.Ben reached down and grabbed something from the tall grass before walking awaywithout another word.Gabe stared after the man, the sense of lost opportunities and lost hope slowlycrowded out as he realized what was in his father s hand.Dammit.The cardboard box from the kitchen.Rage exploded like a long-set mine.He pictured the expression on his ma s face, onAllison s, as they d cooed over the tiny kittens.It might have made no sense, but his limbs were already moving.He threw his hat tothe side and raced to the end of the dugout.The water was murky with springtimerunoff, but the ditch wasn t that wide.He stepped forward and leaned over, handsreaching for the bottom.Hoping that whatever Ben had used could be found quickly.He ended up with his head under the dirty water, hands grasping at weeds and rottingstraw that had blown and settled in the waterhole.He rose and sucked in a breath, divingagain and moving farther toward the middle.He was nearly out of air when his fingerscaught on the edge of a rough sack.Feet to the bottom to propel himself upward, Gabe pulled the burlap free, lifting itover his head.He scrambled one-handed up the narrow embankment, mud coating hisclothes.The chill of the water not even registering as his anger burned.Yes, at times the farm cats got out of control, but they didn t have too many right now.No need to go and drown the little things.His fingers felt like wooden sticks as he tore at the knot.A heavy rock pinned the sackto the ground, motionless lumps lying next to it.A beam of sunshine hit the ground to his left, spotlighting the sad little creatures he pulled one at a time from the open bag.Motionless, their soft fur matted and clumped totheir lifeless bodies.Gabe fought the tears that a grown man shouldn t shed, but damn itall, this was part and parcel of how fucked up his life had become.He wasn t dead, but at times it seemed being dead would be easier.And it was hisfather who had tied the sack tight and thrown him in.Regret at having been too late tore through him, and he growled in frustration.Tinybodies lay in accusation that what he had done was too late and too little.That it would always be too late and too little.Gabe jammed on his hat and sat back on his heels.Soaking wet, mud covered fromhead to toe.Staring down, his heart breaking over a bunch of useless, insignificantkittens.The urge to give up was so damn strong right then.To become bitter and cold like hisfather would be preferable to the pain eating him inside.He moved the kittens back to the sack to carry them to be buried somewhere.Oneafter another he lay them gently next to each other, swear words filling his mind alongwith the frustration and confusion.One twitched.He paused, lifting the soggy black body and placing it carefully in his palm.He gentlyrubbed up the creature s chest and neck, like he would a newborn lamb to remove themucus after it was born.He didn t dare let the flicker of hope inside grow too fast.It was like watching a candle on a gusty windowsill quivering to stay lit.The kitten schest moved again, and when its tiny mouth opened in a pitiful meow, Gabe bit his lip tostop from shouting out loud.He tucked the little thing inside his shirt against his body, close enough that even withhim soaking wet there was heat.It cuddled in and planted its paws on his skin, needle-sharp claws popping out to poke him, and he didn t give a shit that he was being used asa pincushion.It was a hell of a lot harder to one-handed finish the grisly task of caring for the kittenswho hadn t made it, but he was too grateful and too spent to care how long it took orhow awkward it was.The tiny creature nestled against his ribs was like a miniature spotof hope.Fuck his father.The man had told him again and again he was worthless.Why Gabecontinued to try had always been for his own reasons.For his ma and brother.For hisown soul to keep alive the good things he knew about himself in spite of whatever Bensaid.He wouldn t let the bitterness Ben kept dumping on him leach into his soul anymore.There with the sunshine coming down like in some great cathedral, Gabe had his ownrevelation.He was done fighting Ben s way.He was going to win this damn warbetween them, and he was going to use his own methods to get there.And heaven help Ben if he wasn t able to accept that.Allison wasn t exactly fussing it was a teenager joining them for dinner for Pete s sake.But she knew that of all the people who might see through what she and Gabe weredoing, his kid brother was the most likely [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]