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.I darted into the bedroom, threw all my stuffinto a bag within the space of a minute so I d be done whenRafael got back, but on my way to the bathroom I saw Rafael sbody reflected in the blank TV screen.He lay sprawled on thecouch, his face shockingly pale and lifeless with a streak of throwup down the side of his mouth that ended in a puddle of orangeand blood-red goo on the floor.I choked at the stench and triednot to step in it while I nudged Rafael and called his name.ThenI panicked because I thought that the red in the puddle might beblood.In my panic I knocked over a vase on the coffee table andspotted a white line of something that looked like icing sugarnext to a rolled-up dollar bill.I wasn t allowed to go with him in the ambulance, so I tooka taxi to the hospital and was ushered into a waiting room whilethey worked on him.That s when Benji called to check if I wasfree for a party at his place the weekend after the next. You re sure it was drugs? Benji asks as he strokes my backand embraces my shivering body. I don t know, I sob. It looked like it, like one of thosecocaine strips from Pulp Fiction. You know you have to break up with him, right? You can ttake responsibility.If you do then you re in for years and yearsof pain and suffering, deceit, and disappointment.I mean, if it scocaine then it s not easy to get out of your system.He ll Yeah, I get it already, I interrupt and pull myself out of hisarms. I get it, but until I can get a hold of Fernando I m all he sgot. Excuse me, Sir? A blond, middle-aged woman in a white 140 Erica Pikeuniform stands in the doorway with a red clipboard. Didyou come in with& she scans the clipboard, Rafael HierraCordoba? I bolt out of my seat. Yes? We found his wallet in his pocket, but there was no insurancecard.Do you know if he has one? I run a hand through my tangled hair. I-I don t know.We venever talked about it. Are you his closest family? I m his boyfriend. Oh, the woman frowns. Well, could you get a hold of hisfamily? He doesn t have one. I curl my fingers into a fist.Benjistands up and puts his small hand on my shoulder. What swrong with him? I m sorry, but I can t give specifics since you re not blood-related. Well, duh.Did you think we were? Do we look that muchalike? I yell. Eric, Benji whispers, squeezing my shoulder.The woman purses her lips and folds her arms in front of her. Well, we need to know who s going to pay for his stay here.We dlike to keep him overnight. I ll pay! I shout at the hag from hell who only purses her lipstighter at my outburst. How much is it? Benji asks in his most polite, calm voice. Around three thousand dollars. The words catch in my throat, and the woman gives me themost condescending smirk when she excuses herself and leaves. Bitch, I growl through my bared teeth. Eric, she s just doing her job, says Benji and pushes me backinto my seat. Rick and I will help. ABOLUTELY ERIC 141 No.I m paying, I mutter. I almost have that much in mysavings account.I ll figure out the rest. But what about rehab? He s gonna need rehab, and I can tafford that if I have to pay for the hospital bill.I pull out myphone and fumble with it until I find Fernando s number.Hehasn t been picking up all night, and he s not picking up now.There has to be something someone who can help.Myinsides light up when a stroke of genius smacks me across theface and I phone my personal doctor, Dr.Gale.I m in luckbecause he s about to start his shift and comes to meet us.Hepulls a few strings, and I end up paying only a thousand bucks,but I have to take Rafael back with me.Benji drives us back toRafael s place after Dr.Gale has instructed me on how to takecare of Rafael until the doctor can come see me.Rafael is prettymuch out of it and we two shrimp-sized guys have to drag himto the bed, though now that I have my hands on Rafael s body Ican tell how thin he s gotten.Benji is a good friend and therefore offers to stay the night,but I know he has his part-time job early in the morning.Whenhe s gone I get a wet towel, strip Rafael down and clean his body.I cry and sob the entire time.His muscles are a fraction of what they were, his skin isdevoid of his usual heat, and there are grey circles under his eyes.Why hadn t I noticed before? I should have noticed.That lastnight with Travis& he wasn t acting normal.When was the lasttime I even took a good long look at him?I find a clean pair of boxers in Rafael s drawer.The room ismessy, clothes everywhere.I hadn t even noticed when I ran inhere earlier to get my things.Now that I think about it, it s beenthis messy for a while.Rafael was a neat-freak when we startedgoing out.That s another sign right there that something wasn tright.How could I be so dense?It takes effort to dress Rafael in his boxers and roll him underthe covers, face down.I m so tired that I could fall asleep righthere and now, but I have things to do. 142 Erica PikeI spend the next hours rustling through everything to findany leftover drugs after I ve cleaned up in the living room andflushed down that powdery strip of cocaine.I go over everycrook and cranny, and punch the air when I find a small bag ofwhite substance that I immediately flush down.It s three in the morning when I finally slide myself up againstRafael s warming body.I put my arm around him, as if that wouldsomehow help him get better, but as I close my eyes I realizewhat a mess I m in.I m dating a druggie something I swore I dnever do; I ll go broke once I ve gathered enough money to payfor rehab; and I m still in a relationship with the wrong guy.Rafael sleeps for the next few days.I even have to changehis boxers a few times, because I can t get him to the bathroom,but I also get a lot of other stuff done after the first day ofgetting over the shock and pretty much sleeping from dawn todawn.Dr.Gale comes by and tells me that he has a friend whoruns a rehab center up north and that his friend is willing tosecure a spot for Rafael for thirty days if I can come up witheight thousand dollars.There s no way I have that much, but I tellhim I ll see what I can do.I manage to get a hold of Fernando,but he refuses to help take care of Rafael in any way, even whenI threaten to leave Rafael by himself.In the meanwhile I m doingthe best I can.Adam tape records the lessons for me and comesby for study sessions while Benji brings by groceries [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.I darted into the bedroom, threw all my stuffinto a bag within the space of a minute so I d be done whenRafael got back, but on my way to the bathroom I saw Rafael sbody reflected in the blank TV screen.He lay sprawled on thecouch, his face shockingly pale and lifeless with a streak of throwup down the side of his mouth that ended in a puddle of orangeand blood-red goo on the floor.I choked at the stench and triednot to step in it while I nudged Rafael and called his name.ThenI panicked because I thought that the red in the puddle might beblood.In my panic I knocked over a vase on the coffee table andspotted a white line of something that looked like icing sugarnext to a rolled-up dollar bill.I wasn t allowed to go with him in the ambulance, so I tooka taxi to the hospital and was ushered into a waiting room whilethey worked on him.That s when Benji called to check if I wasfree for a party at his place the weekend after the next. You re sure it was drugs? Benji asks as he strokes my backand embraces my shivering body. I don t know, I sob. It looked like it, like one of thosecocaine strips from Pulp Fiction. You know you have to break up with him, right? You can ttake responsibility.If you do then you re in for years and yearsof pain and suffering, deceit, and disappointment.I mean, if it scocaine then it s not easy to get out of your system.He ll Yeah, I get it already, I interrupt and pull myself out of hisarms. I get it, but until I can get a hold of Fernando I m all he sgot. Excuse me, Sir? A blond, middle-aged woman in a white 140 Erica Pikeuniform stands in the doorway with a red clipboard. Didyou come in with& she scans the clipboard, Rafael HierraCordoba? I bolt out of my seat. Yes? We found his wallet in his pocket, but there was no insurancecard.Do you know if he has one? I run a hand through my tangled hair. I-I don t know.We venever talked about it. Are you his closest family? I m his boyfriend. Oh, the woman frowns. Well, could you get a hold of hisfamily? He doesn t have one. I curl my fingers into a fist.Benjistands up and puts his small hand on my shoulder. What swrong with him? I m sorry, but I can t give specifics since you re not blood-related. Well, duh.Did you think we were? Do we look that muchalike? I yell. Eric, Benji whispers, squeezing my shoulder.The woman purses her lips and folds her arms in front of her. Well, we need to know who s going to pay for his stay here.We dlike to keep him overnight. I ll pay! I shout at the hag from hell who only purses her lipstighter at my outburst. How much is it? Benji asks in his most polite, calm voice. Around three thousand dollars. The words catch in my throat, and the woman gives me themost condescending smirk when she excuses herself and leaves. Bitch, I growl through my bared teeth. Eric, she s just doing her job, says Benji and pushes me backinto my seat. Rick and I will help. ABOLUTELY ERIC 141 No.I m paying, I mutter. I almost have that much in mysavings account.I ll figure out the rest. But what about rehab? He s gonna need rehab, and I can tafford that if I have to pay for the hospital bill.I pull out myphone and fumble with it until I find Fernando s number.Hehasn t been picking up all night, and he s not picking up now.There has to be something someone who can help.Myinsides light up when a stroke of genius smacks me across theface and I phone my personal doctor, Dr.Gale.I m in luckbecause he s about to start his shift and comes to meet us.Hepulls a few strings, and I end up paying only a thousand bucks,but I have to take Rafael back with me.Benji drives us back toRafael s place after Dr.Gale has instructed me on how to takecare of Rafael until the doctor can come see me.Rafael is prettymuch out of it and we two shrimp-sized guys have to drag himto the bed, though now that I have my hands on Rafael s body Ican tell how thin he s gotten.Benji is a good friend and therefore offers to stay the night,but I know he has his part-time job early in the morning.Whenhe s gone I get a wet towel, strip Rafael down and clean his body.I cry and sob the entire time.His muscles are a fraction of what they were, his skin isdevoid of his usual heat, and there are grey circles under his eyes.Why hadn t I noticed before? I should have noticed.That lastnight with Travis& he wasn t acting normal.When was the lasttime I even took a good long look at him?I find a clean pair of boxers in Rafael s drawer.The room ismessy, clothes everywhere.I hadn t even noticed when I ran inhere earlier to get my things.Now that I think about it, it s beenthis messy for a while.Rafael was a neat-freak when we startedgoing out.That s another sign right there that something wasn tright.How could I be so dense?It takes effort to dress Rafael in his boxers and roll him underthe covers, face down.I m so tired that I could fall asleep righthere and now, but I have things to do. 142 Erica PikeI spend the next hours rustling through everything to findany leftover drugs after I ve cleaned up in the living room andflushed down that powdery strip of cocaine.I go over everycrook and cranny, and punch the air when I find a small bag ofwhite substance that I immediately flush down.It s three in the morning when I finally slide myself up againstRafael s warming body.I put my arm around him, as if that wouldsomehow help him get better, but as I close my eyes I realizewhat a mess I m in.I m dating a druggie something I swore I dnever do; I ll go broke once I ve gathered enough money to payfor rehab; and I m still in a relationship with the wrong guy.Rafael sleeps for the next few days.I even have to changehis boxers a few times, because I can t get him to the bathroom,but I also get a lot of other stuff done after the first day ofgetting over the shock and pretty much sleeping from dawn todawn.Dr.Gale comes by and tells me that he has a friend whoruns a rehab center up north and that his friend is willing tosecure a spot for Rafael for thirty days if I can come up witheight thousand dollars.There s no way I have that much, but I tellhim I ll see what I can do.I manage to get a hold of Fernando,but he refuses to help take care of Rafael in any way, even whenI threaten to leave Rafael by himself.In the meanwhile I m doingthe best I can.Adam tape records the lessons for me and comesby for study sessions while Benji brings by groceries [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]