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.I want to shed tearswith her, share her pain, and sooth mine, too, as if it were remotely possible.How I wish to be able to let her go and find another woman who can mend my heart and make itbeat again.Does such a woman exist? Even Pat, my first love, couldn t make me forget about Taylor.Actually I m at the point where I don t care about falling in love again.I d settle for a woman whocould at least get Taylor off my mind.I d give everything for such a woman.Everything. I think that s enough for tonight, Taylor says between her sobs, pulling me back to reality.Thereality where not loving her is not an option, but loving her is a cross I have to carry along for the restof my life.The reality where I can t take my mind off of her even for a minute, let alone forgetting her completely. Please, stay with me until the song ends.I need this, I beg.She stares at me with those big, blue eyes glistening with tears and blinks her acceptance.I pullher close to me one last time, my eyes glued onto hers, lost in the impossible dream of one day,maybe.Who knows?Can I go on like this? Loving her while she swears a life-long commitment to a dead man?She looks as though she ll collapse onto the floor any second.When the song ends, I walk her outto the restroom and then go back to the party.Fortunately, the dance floor is now full of peopledancing and chattering the evening away.I don t want to sit and deal with the colleagues, but I canhandle one.So, I slowly step toward Valerie and hold my hand out to beckon her for a dance.Shewipes off her mouth with her napkin and slides her hand into mine.It s not the same with Valerie, although every time she s around me she brings out her sweet side,rather than the usual cold treatment she gives to everyone else.She s smart, witty, and pretty.Well,would be pretty if she tosses away those black specs and eases on the eye makeup.I don t wrap my hand around her waist, just place it a little above her hip, and keep a cleardistance between us. Did she start crying? Valerie asks, taking me off-guard.I nod apologetically. Of course she did.I ve got you under my skin was the opening song of her wedding reception.The first song she and Jack danced to as a married couple. Really? I try to remember but I can t.I was drunk for most of their wedding day, anyway. Howdo you know? Were you at the wedding? I thought you and Taylor have known each other for only oneand half years. No, I wasn t at her wedding.I ve known her for two year and three months.She once showed methe video recordings of the ceremony.The two made an eye-catching couple, not to mention howdeeply in love they looked. I nod again, wondering where she s heading at with this. So, what s your deal? Valerie asks. What do you mean? She s got me totally confused. Do you love Taylor? How dare she? I look at the couples dancing close to us to make sure they didn t hear Valerie soutrages question. It s none of your business. It wouldn t be if you weren t hurting her.She s my friend.As much as I wish her to move on andget another man, your persistent advances are just pushing her back to where she was when she lostJack.You don t let her breathe.You re around all the time, constantly demanding love and affectionwhen she cannot even provide those feelings for herself. With her lips pursed into a tight line and her scowl leveled at me, I can see how utterly she spissed off.Can she be right? Am I the reason why Taylor is still struggling? I.I had no idea. You need to give her some space.You ve been with her since the day after the funeral.It s toomuch.Don t you see you re drowning her? She doesn t need someone like you; a constant reminder ofher dead husband.Why don t you take a couple of months off from work? She ll have room tobreathe, and you ll get an opportunity to think things through.You know what they say, Out of sightout of mind. I don t know. I wish she d shown me the cold treatment rather than this irritating talk.I don twant to go away and leave Taylor alone.Even if she may not love me back, she is my best friend s wife.Well, she was.So, her well-being is my responsibility.I can t just turn my back on her. I ll be here for her, she adds as if she read my mind. I had a sister who died in a trafficaccident when she was seven.She d be Taylor s age had she lived.Since the day I met Taylor, I seeher like my little sister.In spite of the turmoil she s going through, she s a very caring andunderstanding person.I truly want her to be happy, again.But, she can t get there as long as you rearound.And, don t worry about the company and the projects.Your help has been incredible, but thebusiness is pretty standard from this point on. At last the song finishes, and so does the torturous talk of Valerie.I thank her for the dance,without commenting on her absurd ideas, and walk her back to the table.So what, she knows Taylor for two years and three fucking months.I knew Jack for the majorityof my life.I won t leave his wife alone during the hardest times of her life.I snap up a glass of champagne and toss it back.I wasn t going to drink more than a glass, butValerie s preaching didn t leave me another option.Taylor appears at the door; her eyes and cheeks are blood red.She was even smiling before Iasked her for dance.But now, it s like Jack s funeral all over again.Shit? Is Valerie right? Am I drowning Taylor? She paces in front of me, without looking up at me,and goes to her table.I watch her idly as she murmurs something to Valerie and picks up her purseand scarf.Fuck, no! Is she leaving so early? It s because of the song.The song I ve chosen for ourfirst dance.Even a blind man can see it.I m drowning her.She waves goodbye at Valerie and Bree and strides back toward the door.I want to go down onmy knees and ask for forgiveness until I see her smile again.I ll even promise to let her go if that swhat she needs to be happy again.I run after her through the hallway but she s nowhere to be seen.I hurry toward the elevators,hoping to find her there, without success.I call the elevator and wait an entire minute for it to arrive.Istep into it and press the button for the lobby, hoping to catch Taylor before she leaves.As soon asthe doors slide open at the lobby, I dash toward the exit door, my eyes scanning around.Where hasshe gone? Have you seen a red Hyundai leaving? I ask the doorman. Yes, Mrs.Edelman s Hyundai.She s just left. Crap. I motion to the valet to bring my car.She must be going to her apartment.I have toapologize to her and let her know I won t be bothering her anymore.I ve been blaming her for notmoving on, but I think it s me who has to listen to my own advice and move on. TaylorI m driving fast, and my eyes are blurred with tears.I can t believe a song could bring me to tears in aroom full of people, especially after my eyes have been tear-free for almost three long years.I shouldfeel happy about it, finally shaking off the emotional numbness that was eating at me for so long.I waseven worried that my eyes had permanently lost the function of producing tears after crying nonstopfor one full month after Jack s death.I should have left a note or something for Adam, I think to myself, as I wipe my tears away andnotice through the rearview mirror a green sedan driving a little too close to me.Adam must be deadworried, and I can t even imagine Valerie s attitude.I decide to text Bree as soon as I get home andfloor the gas pedal.At least, the others will enjoy themselves without their crazy boss bitchingaround.I smile at the thought of anyone calling me bitch behind my back [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.I want to shed tearswith her, share her pain, and sooth mine, too, as if it were remotely possible.How I wish to be able to let her go and find another woman who can mend my heart and make itbeat again.Does such a woman exist? Even Pat, my first love, couldn t make me forget about Taylor.Actually I m at the point where I don t care about falling in love again.I d settle for a woman whocould at least get Taylor off my mind.I d give everything for such a woman.Everything. I think that s enough for tonight, Taylor says between her sobs, pulling me back to reality.Thereality where not loving her is not an option, but loving her is a cross I have to carry along for the restof my life.The reality where I can t take my mind off of her even for a minute, let alone forgetting her completely. Please, stay with me until the song ends.I need this, I beg.She stares at me with those big, blue eyes glistening with tears and blinks her acceptance.I pullher close to me one last time, my eyes glued onto hers, lost in the impossible dream of one day,maybe.Who knows?Can I go on like this? Loving her while she swears a life-long commitment to a dead man?She looks as though she ll collapse onto the floor any second.When the song ends, I walk her outto the restroom and then go back to the party.Fortunately, the dance floor is now full of peopledancing and chattering the evening away.I don t want to sit and deal with the colleagues, but I canhandle one.So, I slowly step toward Valerie and hold my hand out to beckon her for a dance.Shewipes off her mouth with her napkin and slides her hand into mine.It s not the same with Valerie, although every time she s around me she brings out her sweet side,rather than the usual cold treatment she gives to everyone else.She s smart, witty, and pretty.Well,would be pretty if she tosses away those black specs and eases on the eye makeup.I don t wrap my hand around her waist, just place it a little above her hip, and keep a cleardistance between us. Did she start crying? Valerie asks, taking me off-guard.I nod apologetically. Of course she did.I ve got you under my skin was the opening song of her wedding reception.The first song she and Jack danced to as a married couple. Really? I try to remember but I can t.I was drunk for most of their wedding day, anyway. Howdo you know? Were you at the wedding? I thought you and Taylor have known each other for only oneand half years. No, I wasn t at her wedding.I ve known her for two year and three months.She once showed methe video recordings of the ceremony.The two made an eye-catching couple, not to mention howdeeply in love they looked. I nod again, wondering where she s heading at with this. So, what s your deal? Valerie asks. What do you mean? She s got me totally confused. Do you love Taylor? How dare she? I look at the couples dancing close to us to make sure they didn t hear Valerie soutrages question. It s none of your business. It wouldn t be if you weren t hurting her.She s my friend.As much as I wish her to move on andget another man, your persistent advances are just pushing her back to where she was when she lostJack.You don t let her breathe.You re around all the time, constantly demanding love and affectionwhen she cannot even provide those feelings for herself. With her lips pursed into a tight line and her scowl leveled at me, I can see how utterly she spissed off.Can she be right? Am I the reason why Taylor is still struggling? I.I had no idea. You need to give her some space.You ve been with her since the day after the funeral.It s toomuch.Don t you see you re drowning her? She doesn t need someone like you; a constant reminder ofher dead husband.Why don t you take a couple of months off from work? She ll have room tobreathe, and you ll get an opportunity to think things through.You know what they say, Out of sightout of mind. I don t know. I wish she d shown me the cold treatment rather than this irritating talk.I don twant to go away and leave Taylor alone.Even if she may not love me back, she is my best friend s wife.Well, she was.So, her well-being is my responsibility.I can t just turn my back on her. I ll be here for her, she adds as if she read my mind. I had a sister who died in a trafficaccident when she was seven.She d be Taylor s age had she lived.Since the day I met Taylor, I seeher like my little sister.In spite of the turmoil she s going through, she s a very caring andunderstanding person.I truly want her to be happy, again.But, she can t get there as long as you rearound.And, don t worry about the company and the projects.Your help has been incredible, but thebusiness is pretty standard from this point on. At last the song finishes, and so does the torturous talk of Valerie.I thank her for the dance,without commenting on her absurd ideas, and walk her back to the table.So what, she knows Taylor for two years and three fucking months.I knew Jack for the majorityof my life.I won t leave his wife alone during the hardest times of her life.I snap up a glass of champagne and toss it back.I wasn t going to drink more than a glass, butValerie s preaching didn t leave me another option.Taylor appears at the door; her eyes and cheeks are blood red.She was even smiling before Iasked her for dance.But now, it s like Jack s funeral all over again.Shit? Is Valerie right? Am I drowning Taylor? She paces in front of me, without looking up at me,and goes to her table.I watch her idly as she murmurs something to Valerie and picks up her purseand scarf.Fuck, no! Is she leaving so early? It s because of the song.The song I ve chosen for ourfirst dance.Even a blind man can see it.I m drowning her.She waves goodbye at Valerie and Bree and strides back toward the door.I want to go down onmy knees and ask for forgiveness until I see her smile again.I ll even promise to let her go if that swhat she needs to be happy again.I run after her through the hallway but she s nowhere to be seen.I hurry toward the elevators,hoping to find her there, without success.I call the elevator and wait an entire minute for it to arrive.Istep into it and press the button for the lobby, hoping to catch Taylor before she leaves.As soon asthe doors slide open at the lobby, I dash toward the exit door, my eyes scanning around.Where hasshe gone? Have you seen a red Hyundai leaving? I ask the doorman. Yes, Mrs.Edelman s Hyundai.She s just left. Crap. I motion to the valet to bring my car.She must be going to her apartment.I have toapologize to her and let her know I won t be bothering her anymore.I ve been blaming her for notmoving on, but I think it s me who has to listen to my own advice and move on. TaylorI m driving fast, and my eyes are blurred with tears.I can t believe a song could bring me to tears in aroom full of people, especially after my eyes have been tear-free for almost three long years.I shouldfeel happy about it, finally shaking off the emotional numbness that was eating at me for so long.I waseven worried that my eyes had permanently lost the function of producing tears after crying nonstopfor one full month after Jack s death.I should have left a note or something for Adam, I think to myself, as I wipe my tears away andnotice through the rearview mirror a green sedan driving a little too close to me.Adam must be deadworried, and I can t even imagine Valerie s attitude.I decide to text Bree as soon as I get home andfloor the gas pedal.At least, the others will enjoy themselves without their crazy boss bitchingaround.I smile at the thought of anyone calling me bitch behind my back [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]