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.They would follow you into hell. Or go to hell in my place.He shook his head andpulled Davy close again, nuzzling his ear. Do you wantme to leave, then? The way his breath was squeezed from him wasanswer enough, but Davy finally spoke. I want to be withyou.If I didn t think someone would recognize me, I djust change my name again and apply for a servant sposition, once you make post.I can do all sorts of things,Will, the Navy simply seemed the best choice at the time.It s different for you.This is what you were born to do.Idon t want you to leave but you must. His own arms tightened until Davy let out a little whoof.Will loosened his grasp but did not release him.Could not. I don t want to lose you. We might have been transferred away from eachother at any time, Will.I cannot see you discard your giftsonly to keep us together.For you to waste your lifedoddling around on some little trader would be likehitching a prize hunting stallion to a plow. Hardly a prize. He would have said hardly a stallion,but Davy s hand was putting the lie to that, an unfairdistraction in this discussion. The hunt is not over.And you would miss it, Will.You belong on the quarterdeck, with the ship yours tocommand.If you threw that away for me, you would feel127 Winds of Changepulled apart every time you saw a Navy sail.And I wouldknow.Eventually, it would destroy what we have. Never. Yes.It would.It might not matter, to most men, but itdoes to you. You matter to me. Then stay alive. There was an edge in Davy s voice.He seemed to catch himself and went on, Stay alive, sosomeday when the war is over we can be a couple of oldgaffers sitting by a fire swapping yarns and playing witheach other under a blanket. He was already doing that, his nails scraping lightly upWill s thigh, augmenting distraction with little licks andnips along his neck.No, David would not waste timequarreling but he was not conceding his point, either.And his diversionary tactics were masterful.Will couldfeel the pain of their imminent parting transmuting itselfinto desire. Twenty years, do you think? How will weever wait that long? Don t wait.Just stay clear of poxy tarts. He rose onhands and knees, hovering over Will.There was lightenough, now, to see the outline of his face, the intensity inhis eyes. And don t forget me. Never. Will pulled him down for a kiss that becamethe first of many, until Davy slipped away to work his waydown, leaving a wet tingling trail.Incredible that he couldbe so aroused again, so quickly; he could not restrain amoan as Davy s mouth closed around him.~Will sat before the mirror, watching the reflection ofDavy s face as his lover brushed back his hair, pulling itinto its queue.Davy was taking his time, smiling faintly,running his fingers through the strands.But at last hegathered it all back, wrapping it in its black ribbon as hehad so many times on Calypso.Another little ritualremaining from their lives as shipmates, performed for thelast time.128 Lee RowanDavy sighed, and smoothed his hair, and their eyesmet in the mirror. I shall keep yours always, Marshallpromised.With a brave attempt at a smile, Davy wrapped hisarms tightly around Marshall s shoulders. I don t want tolet you go, he said. But I cannot keep you. The truth of it was sharper than a blade.Hedisentangled himself from the embrace, took the razorlying beside the washbasin, and, almost without thinking,reached back and awkwardly sawed off his own pigtail. Will There, he said.He folded the razor and put thepigtail in Davy s hand, closed his fingers around it. Youcan keep a bit of me, anyway. Davy blinked rapidly, then grinned through tears. Thank you.But your hair it s all crooked now. What does it matter? Mr.Marshall, you re a ship s commander.You mustsee a barber before you go aboard, or you ll be alaughingstock. Oh, very well.I suppose there is one in town. Hetouched the back of his neck.It felt naked, incomplete, asthough he had lost a part of himself.Well, he had, hadn t he? Perhaps the best part.Thepart that had once believed there could ever be justice inthis world.He knew better now.There was no fairness, nojustice: only Duty, a greedy, heartless, insatiable deity thatdemanded honor, loyalty, life, and even those one lovedmore than life, all to be offered up in return for evenharsher demands.I cannot.I cannot face this ever again [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.They would follow you into hell. Or go to hell in my place.He shook his head andpulled Davy close again, nuzzling his ear. Do you wantme to leave, then? The way his breath was squeezed from him wasanswer enough, but Davy finally spoke. I want to be withyou.If I didn t think someone would recognize me, I djust change my name again and apply for a servant sposition, once you make post.I can do all sorts of things,Will, the Navy simply seemed the best choice at the time.It s different for you.This is what you were born to do.Idon t want you to leave but you must. His own arms tightened until Davy let out a little whoof.Will loosened his grasp but did not release him.Could not. I don t want to lose you. We might have been transferred away from eachother at any time, Will.I cannot see you discard your giftsonly to keep us together.For you to waste your lifedoddling around on some little trader would be likehitching a prize hunting stallion to a plow. Hardly a prize. He would have said hardly a stallion,but Davy s hand was putting the lie to that, an unfairdistraction in this discussion. The hunt is not over.And you would miss it, Will.You belong on the quarterdeck, with the ship yours tocommand.If you threw that away for me, you would feel127 Winds of Changepulled apart every time you saw a Navy sail.And I wouldknow.Eventually, it would destroy what we have. Never. Yes.It would.It might not matter, to most men, but itdoes to you. You matter to me. Then stay alive. There was an edge in Davy s voice.He seemed to catch himself and went on, Stay alive, sosomeday when the war is over we can be a couple of oldgaffers sitting by a fire swapping yarns and playing witheach other under a blanket. He was already doing that, his nails scraping lightly upWill s thigh, augmenting distraction with little licks andnips along his neck.No, David would not waste timequarreling but he was not conceding his point, either.And his diversionary tactics were masterful.Will couldfeel the pain of their imminent parting transmuting itselfinto desire. Twenty years, do you think? How will weever wait that long? Don t wait.Just stay clear of poxy tarts. He rose onhands and knees, hovering over Will.There was lightenough, now, to see the outline of his face, the intensity inhis eyes. And don t forget me. Never. Will pulled him down for a kiss that becamethe first of many, until Davy slipped away to work his waydown, leaving a wet tingling trail.Incredible that he couldbe so aroused again, so quickly; he could not restrain amoan as Davy s mouth closed around him.~Will sat before the mirror, watching the reflection ofDavy s face as his lover brushed back his hair, pulling itinto its queue.Davy was taking his time, smiling faintly,running his fingers through the strands.But at last hegathered it all back, wrapping it in its black ribbon as hehad so many times on Calypso.Another little ritualremaining from their lives as shipmates, performed for thelast time.128 Lee RowanDavy sighed, and smoothed his hair, and their eyesmet in the mirror. I shall keep yours always, Marshallpromised.With a brave attempt at a smile, Davy wrapped hisarms tightly around Marshall s shoulders. I don t want tolet you go, he said. But I cannot keep you. The truth of it was sharper than a blade.Hedisentangled himself from the embrace, took the razorlying beside the washbasin, and, almost without thinking,reached back and awkwardly sawed off his own pigtail. Will There, he said.He folded the razor and put thepigtail in Davy s hand, closed his fingers around it. Youcan keep a bit of me, anyway. Davy blinked rapidly, then grinned through tears. Thank you.But your hair it s all crooked now. What does it matter? Mr.Marshall, you re a ship s commander.You mustsee a barber before you go aboard, or you ll be alaughingstock. Oh, very well.I suppose there is one in town. Hetouched the back of his neck.It felt naked, incomplete, asthough he had lost a part of himself.Well, he had, hadn t he? Perhaps the best part.Thepart that had once believed there could ever be justice inthis world.He knew better now.There was no fairness, nojustice: only Duty, a greedy, heartless, insatiable deity thatdemanded honor, loyalty, life, and even those one lovedmore than life, all to be offered up in return for evenharsher demands.I cannot.I cannot face this ever again [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]