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. Whatdid you tell him? Jack asked without looking.Bernard sighed. I told him I got a little wild playing with abeer bottle.He bought it well enough. Jack scooted his chair back and looked up at the man.Foronce, Bernard wouldn t meet his gaze. I m so sorry, Bern& Please& don t do this, Jack.I haven t the strength. A knock broke the silence in the room.It was thenurse& Nancy! Hey there stranger, remember me? Bernard s eyes lit up as he took in the sight of his old friend! Nancy! Holy cow, how are you? I m so sorry I didn t keep intouch! The nurse hugged her former patient warmly. I missed you!You were one of my favorites; always were. Bernard kissed her cheek and she sat down next to him. You feeling better, mental-wise? Yeah, much! Dr.Rasmus and I stopped our sessions monthsago.I went from three times a week to once every couple months.He said I d made so much progress on my own.Now it s more likevisiting with an old friend. That s wonderful! I m so happy for you! Nancy glanced overat Jack and saw his condition. Jack, could you come with me, please? What? What for? 139 She walked over and clamped onto his arm and hauled himout of the chair. Get your ass out of the chair and come with menow, mister. She looked back for a moment. Oh, I m not your nurse, by the way.She should be in verysoon.I saw your name on the roster and had to say hello! Glad you did! See you soon. I ll be back. She replied to Bernard. You come with me. Shegrowled to Jack and escorted him down the hallway and out ofsight.After a half-hour, the two returned.Both had bloodshot eyes,but walked arm-in-arm.Jack sat down next to his ex and Nancyshut the door for them. What happened out there? What s going on? Bernard asked.Jack raised his head and finally spoke what was on his mind. Bern, I need and want to apologize for everything I did andsaid and especially for hurting you so bad! I don t know what gotinto me! Jack& we ve been over this! I thought you couldn t get overyour love for Randy.Everything I did could never measure up tohim in a million years. Jack wagged his head and laid his head down on Bernard sstomach.He sobbed aloud and squeezed the man s large hand. I m such an s.o.b! How could you fall in love with a jackal likeme? How? 140 Bernard fingered the brunette strands in front of him. Shhh,because I love you, I always have and I think I always will, but ittakes two, hon.I can t do this alone. Nor should you.A relationship is 50/50, and you deserve thebest! I need you, Bernard.I need you to keep me on the good sideand help me to move on. What about Randy? Bernard asked timidly. Randy is gone.My love for him won t go away.We shared adeep bond that I didn t think I d ever have again until I met you. Bernard fought tears. Then why did you compare me and Ilost out on all counts? I dunno.It was stupid of me to do! You re two different menthat I ve fallen in love with.Randy was all those things I said, butyou are very many more things.You re patient, and kind, andyou re great at your job too.I know you re capable of so manythings.You need a loving partner to help you bring them out.Bernard, will you please take me back into your life? Move in withme again? I need your help to kick this bottle habit again.Please? Bernard was all set to say yes when the hotel job popped intohis mind. Jack& I love you more than anything and I want to comeback! But I just took a job out of the area. Jack raised his head. What? How far out? Eighty miles. Jack blinked back fresh tears. I see.Well, you had every rightto move on and away from me.I certainly wasn t holding onto youlike I should ve.When do you leave? 141 Bernard had to search for words.He looked at Jack and wascompletely at a loss. I was supposed to begin on Monday.My littleinjury kind of puts that on hold though, but just for a day or two. Jack ran his fingers over the gauze and looked into thesparkling blue eyes he d fallen for. I almost lost it when that glasshit you! I m so sorry! he sobbed.Bernard brushed his ex-lover s hairy arm. Shhh, Jack.It salright.I promise you.I m alright now.I just wonder if you are. The aggrieved man shook his head. No, I m not alright at all.Not since you left my life.I can t live without you, Bernard! You veshown such strength and resilience and what do I do? Fall apartlike a house of cards! I m weak and sad, and not a very good man tobe in your life. Bernard tilted the whisker-laded chin in his direction. Nowyou listen to me, Jack Larson, I fell in love with you months ago.You were my first time, my first love, all the huge milestones.Youhelped nurse me back to health after that ridiculous suicideattempt! I ve faced my demons and won for the first time in my life! Ihave you to thank for that. Jack recoiled. No, it wasn t me.You did it all yourself.Youhad the power inside of you.Look at me! I m a drunk! I fell apartand ran back to the bottle quicker than ever! Bernard shook his head. But you re willing to stop now, aren tyou? Hasn t all of this made you see the light? Jack wiped off his face and nodded. Yes, it has.But I honestlydon t know if I have the strength anymore.I m a failure! I failed you142 and us and worst of all I failed myself.I went from the charming Dr.Jack to a bum, all with one bottle of whiskey. He looked up intoBernard s face and reached for it, but pulled his fingers back at thelast moment. I don t deserve you anymore.You ve moved on.You ve got a great new job and your own life.You ve got a newnephew or niece on the way.What do you even need me for? Jack turned away and stood up to face the wall.Bernardsighed and reached for the man s hand. I need you to love me, be by my side, support me, everything.I know the power is in you too. A knock at the door broke the scene.It was his emergencyroom nurse, Nicole. Excuse me, Mr.Covington? All set? Bernard smiled at Jack and appreciated his assistance instanding up. Yes, very much.I am very ready to get home. Here, sign this and you re on your way. Bernard scribbled his long signature and smiled at the nurse. Thank you. Take care of that leg, Mr.Covington.Good night! Thanks, Nicole.Night! Jack waved goodbye and helped Bernard walk out of the roomto his car, and drove off to Jack s house.When they reached the inside, they both sat down on the sofaand surveyed the room.Jack saw the shards of glass still on the143 floor, along with all the other alcohol [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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. Whatdid you tell him? Jack asked without looking.Bernard sighed. I told him I got a little wild playing with abeer bottle.He bought it well enough. Jack scooted his chair back and looked up at the man.Foronce, Bernard wouldn t meet his gaze. I m so sorry, Bern& Please& don t do this, Jack.I haven t the strength. A knock broke the silence in the room.It was thenurse& Nancy! Hey there stranger, remember me? Bernard s eyes lit up as he took in the sight of his old friend! Nancy! Holy cow, how are you? I m so sorry I didn t keep intouch! The nurse hugged her former patient warmly. I missed you!You were one of my favorites; always were. Bernard kissed her cheek and she sat down next to him. You feeling better, mental-wise? Yeah, much! Dr.Rasmus and I stopped our sessions monthsago.I went from three times a week to once every couple months.He said I d made so much progress on my own.Now it s more likevisiting with an old friend. That s wonderful! I m so happy for you! Nancy glanced overat Jack and saw his condition. Jack, could you come with me, please? What? What for? 139 She walked over and clamped onto his arm and hauled himout of the chair. Get your ass out of the chair and come with menow, mister. She looked back for a moment. Oh, I m not your nurse, by the way.She should be in verysoon.I saw your name on the roster and had to say hello! Glad you did! See you soon. I ll be back. She replied to Bernard. You come with me. Shegrowled to Jack and escorted him down the hallway and out ofsight.After a half-hour, the two returned.Both had bloodshot eyes,but walked arm-in-arm.Jack sat down next to his ex and Nancyshut the door for them. What happened out there? What s going on? Bernard asked.Jack raised his head and finally spoke what was on his mind. Bern, I need and want to apologize for everything I did andsaid and especially for hurting you so bad! I don t know what gotinto me! Jack& we ve been over this! I thought you couldn t get overyour love for Randy.Everything I did could never measure up tohim in a million years. Jack wagged his head and laid his head down on Bernard sstomach.He sobbed aloud and squeezed the man s large hand. I m such an s.o.b! How could you fall in love with a jackal likeme? How? 140 Bernard fingered the brunette strands in front of him. Shhh,because I love you, I always have and I think I always will, but ittakes two, hon.I can t do this alone. Nor should you.A relationship is 50/50, and you deserve thebest! I need you, Bernard.I need you to keep me on the good sideand help me to move on. What about Randy? Bernard asked timidly. Randy is gone.My love for him won t go away.We shared adeep bond that I didn t think I d ever have again until I met you. Bernard fought tears. Then why did you compare me and Ilost out on all counts? I dunno.It was stupid of me to do! You re two different menthat I ve fallen in love with.Randy was all those things I said, butyou are very many more things.You re patient, and kind, andyou re great at your job too.I know you re capable of so manythings.You need a loving partner to help you bring them out.Bernard, will you please take me back into your life? Move in withme again? I need your help to kick this bottle habit again.Please? Bernard was all set to say yes when the hotel job popped intohis mind. Jack& I love you more than anything and I want to comeback! But I just took a job out of the area. Jack raised his head. What? How far out? Eighty miles. Jack blinked back fresh tears. I see.Well, you had every rightto move on and away from me.I certainly wasn t holding onto youlike I should ve.When do you leave? 141 Bernard had to search for words.He looked at Jack and wascompletely at a loss. I was supposed to begin on Monday.My littleinjury kind of puts that on hold though, but just for a day or two. Jack ran his fingers over the gauze and looked into thesparkling blue eyes he d fallen for. I almost lost it when that glasshit you! I m so sorry! he sobbed.Bernard brushed his ex-lover s hairy arm. Shhh, Jack.It salright.I promise you.I m alright now.I just wonder if you are. The aggrieved man shook his head. No, I m not alright at all.Not since you left my life.I can t live without you, Bernard! You veshown such strength and resilience and what do I do? Fall apartlike a house of cards! I m weak and sad, and not a very good man tobe in your life. Bernard tilted the whisker-laded chin in his direction. Nowyou listen to me, Jack Larson, I fell in love with you months ago.You were my first time, my first love, all the huge milestones.Youhelped nurse me back to health after that ridiculous suicideattempt! I ve faced my demons and won for the first time in my life! Ihave you to thank for that. Jack recoiled. No, it wasn t me.You did it all yourself.Youhad the power inside of you.Look at me! I m a drunk! I fell apartand ran back to the bottle quicker than ever! Bernard shook his head. But you re willing to stop now, aren tyou? Hasn t all of this made you see the light? Jack wiped off his face and nodded. Yes, it has.But I honestlydon t know if I have the strength anymore.I m a failure! I failed you142 and us and worst of all I failed myself.I went from the charming Dr.Jack to a bum, all with one bottle of whiskey. He looked up intoBernard s face and reached for it, but pulled his fingers back at thelast moment. I don t deserve you anymore.You ve moved on.You ve got a great new job and your own life.You ve got a newnephew or niece on the way.What do you even need me for? Jack turned away and stood up to face the wall.Bernardsighed and reached for the man s hand. I need you to love me, be by my side, support me, everything.I know the power is in you too. A knock at the door broke the scene.It was his emergencyroom nurse, Nicole. Excuse me, Mr.Covington? All set? Bernard smiled at Jack and appreciated his assistance instanding up. Yes, very much.I am very ready to get home. Here, sign this and you re on your way. Bernard scribbled his long signature and smiled at the nurse. Thank you. Take care of that leg, Mr.Covington.Good night! Thanks, Nicole.Night! Jack waved goodbye and helped Bernard walk out of the roomto his car, and drove off to Jack s house.When they reached the inside, they both sat down on the sofaand surveyed the room.Jack saw the shards of glass still on the143 floor, along with all the other alcohol [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]