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.Usually hereferred to the haunting soft strains of ambient music as 'New Age mush.'"You understand," she said quietly."Yes.But you're not dying, Poppy.This isn't a death scene you're settingup.""But I'm going away.I'm changing." Poppy couldn't explain exactly, butsomething in her said she was doing the right thing.She was dying to her oldlife.It was a solemn occasion, a Passage.And of course, although neither of them mentioned it, they both knew she mightdie for good.James had been very frank about that-some people didn't make itthrough the transition.Phil came back with candles, Christmas candles, emergency candles, scentedvotive candles.Poppy directed him to place them around the room and lightthem.She herself went to the bathroom to change into her best nightgown.Itwas flannel, with a pattern of little strawberries.Just imagine, she thought as she left the bathroom.This is the last time I'llever walk down this hall, the last time I'll push open my bedroom door.The bedroom was beautiful.The soft glow of candlelight gave it an aura ofsanctity, of mystery.The music was unearthly and sweet, and Poppy felt shecould fall into it forever, the way she fe!l in her dreams.Poppy opened the closet and used a hanger to bat a tawny stuffed lion and afloppy gray Eeyore down from the top shelf.She took them to her bed and putthem beside the mounded pillows.Maybe it was stupid, maybe it was childish,but she wanted them with her.She sat on the bed and looked at James and Phillip.They were both looking at her.Phil was dearly upset, touching his mouth tostop its trembling.James was upset, too, although only someone who knew himas well as Poppy did would have been able to tell."It's all right," Poppy told them."Don't you see? I'm all right, so there'sno excuse for you not to be."And the strange thing was, it was the truth.She was all right.She felt calmand clear now, as if everything had become very simple.She saw the road aheadof her, and all she had to do was follow it, step by step.Phil came over to squeeze her hand."How does this how does this work?" heasked James huskily."First we'll exchange blood," James said-speaking to Poppy.Looking only ather."It doesn't have to be a lot; you're right on the border of changingalready.Then the two kinds of blood fight it out sort of the last battle, ifyou see what I mean." HePage 45 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.htmlsmiled faintly and painfully, and Poppy nodded."While that's happening you'll feel weaker and weaker.And then you'll just goto sleep.The change happens while you're asleep.""And when do I wake up?" Poppy asked."I'll give you a kind of posthypnotic suggestionabout that.Tell you to wake up when I come to get you.Don't worry about it;I've got all the details figured out.All you need to do is rest."Phil was running nervous hands through his hair, as if he was just nowthinking about what kind of details he and James were going to have to dealwith."Wait a minute," he said in almost a croak."When------when you say'sleep'-she's going to look.""Dead," Poppy supplied, when his voice ran out.James gave Phil a cold look."Yes.We've been over this.""And then-we're really going to-what's going to happen to her?"James glared."It's okay," Poppy said softly."Tell him.""You know what's going to happen," James said through clenched teeth toPhillip."She can't just disappear.We'd have the police and the Night peopleafter us, looking for her.No, it's got to seem that she died from the cancer,and that means everything's got to happen exactly the way it would if she haddied.Phil's sick expression said he wasn't at his most rational."You're sure thereisn't any other way?""No," James said.Phil wet his lips."Oh, God."Poppy herself didn't want to dwell on it too much.She said fiercely, "Dealwith it, Phil.You've got to.And remember, if it doesn't happen now it'sgoing to happen in a few weeks-for real."Phil was holding on to one of the brass bedposts so hard that his knuckleswere pale.But he'd gotten the point, and there was no one better than Phil atbracing himself."You're right," he said thinly, with the ghost of his oldefficient manner."Okay, I'm dealing with it. 'Then let's get started," Poppy said, making her voice calm and steady.As ifshe were dealing with everything effortlessly herself.James said to Phil, "You don't want to see this part.Go out and watch TV fora few minutes."Phil hesitated, then nodded and left."One thing," Poppy said to James as she scooted to the middle_ of the bed.Shewas still trying desperately to sound casual."After the funeral-well, I'll beasleep, won't I? I won't wake up.you know.In my nice little coffin." Shelooked up at him."It's just that I'm claustrophobic, a little.""You won't wake up there," James said."Poppy, I wouldn't let that happen toyou.Trust me; I've thought of everything."Poppy nodded.I do trust you, she thought.Then she held her arms out to him.He touched her neck, so she tilted her chin back.As the blood was drawn fromher, she felt her mind drawn into his.Don't worry, Poppy.Don't be afraid.All his thoughts were ferociouslyprotective.And even though it only confirmed that there was something to beafraid of, that this could go wrong, Poppy felt peaceful.The direct sense ofhis love made her calm, flooded her with light.She suddenly felt distance and height and depthspaciousness.As if herhorizons had expanded almost to infinity in an instant.As if she'd discovereda new dimension.As if there were no limits or obstacles to what she and Jamescould do together.She felt.free.I'm getting light-headed, she realized.She could feel herself going limp inJames's arms.Swooning like a wilting flower.I've taken enough, James said in her mind.The warm animal mouth on her throatPage 46 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.htmlpulled back."Now it's your turn."This time, though, he didn't make the cut at his wrist.He took off hisT-shirt and, with a quick, impulsive gesture, ran a fingernail along the baseof his throat.Oh, Poppy thought.Slowly, almost reverently, she leaned forward.James's handsupported the back of her head.Poppy put her arms around him, feeling hisbare skin under the flannel of her nightgown [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.Usually hereferred to the haunting soft strains of ambient music as 'New Age mush.'"You understand," she said quietly."Yes.But you're not dying, Poppy.This isn't a death scene you're settingup.""But I'm going away.I'm changing." Poppy couldn't explain exactly, butsomething in her said she was doing the right thing.She was dying to her oldlife.It was a solemn occasion, a Passage.And of course, although neither of them mentioned it, they both knew she mightdie for good.James had been very frank about that-some people didn't make itthrough the transition.Phil came back with candles, Christmas candles, emergency candles, scentedvotive candles.Poppy directed him to place them around the room and lightthem.She herself went to the bathroom to change into her best nightgown.Itwas flannel, with a pattern of little strawberries.Just imagine, she thought as she left the bathroom.This is the last time I'llever walk down this hall, the last time I'll push open my bedroom door.The bedroom was beautiful.The soft glow of candlelight gave it an aura ofsanctity, of mystery.The music was unearthly and sweet, and Poppy felt shecould fall into it forever, the way she fe!l in her dreams.Poppy opened the closet and used a hanger to bat a tawny stuffed lion and afloppy gray Eeyore down from the top shelf.She took them to her bed and putthem beside the mounded pillows.Maybe it was stupid, maybe it was childish,but she wanted them with her.She sat on the bed and looked at James and Phillip.They were both looking at her.Phil was dearly upset, touching his mouth tostop its trembling.James was upset, too, although only someone who knew himas well as Poppy did would have been able to tell."It's all right," Poppy told them."Don't you see? I'm all right, so there'sno excuse for you not to be."And the strange thing was, it was the truth.She was all right.She felt calmand clear now, as if everything had become very simple.She saw the road aheadof her, and all she had to do was follow it, step by step.Phil came over to squeeze her hand."How does this how does this work?" heasked James huskily."First we'll exchange blood," James said-speaking to Poppy.Looking only ather."It doesn't have to be a lot; you're right on the border of changingalready.Then the two kinds of blood fight it out sort of the last battle, ifyou see what I mean." HePage 45 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.htmlsmiled faintly and painfully, and Poppy nodded."While that's happening you'll feel weaker and weaker.And then you'll just goto sleep.The change happens while you're asleep.""And when do I wake up?" Poppy asked."I'll give you a kind of posthypnotic suggestionabout that.Tell you to wake up when I come to get you.Don't worry about it;I've got all the details figured out.All you need to do is rest."Phil was running nervous hands through his hair, as if he was just nowthinking about what kind of details he and James were going to have to dealwith."Wait a minute," he said in almost a croak."When------when you say'sleep'-she's going to look.""Dead," Poppy supplied, when his voice ran out.James gave Phil a cold look."Yes.We've been over this.""And then-we're really going to-what's going to happen to her?"James glared."It's okay," Poppy said softly."Tell him.""You know what's going to happen," James said through clenched teeth toPhillip."She can't just disappear.We'd have the police and the Night peopleafter us, looking for her.No, it's got to seem that she died from the cancer,and that means everything's got to happen exactly the way it would if she haddied.Phil's sick expression said he wasn't at his most rational."You're sure thereisn't any other way?""No," James said.Phil wet his lips."Oh, God."Poppy herself didn't want to dwell on it too much.She said fiercely, "Dealwith it, Phil.You've got to.And remember, if it doesn't happen now it'sgoing to happen in a few weeks-for real."Phil was holding on to one of the brass bedposts so hard that his knuckleswere pale.But he'd gotten the point, and there was no one better than Phil atbracing himself."You're right," he said thinly, with the ghost of his oldefficient manner."Okay, I'm dealing with it. 'Then let's get started," Poppy said, making her voice calm and steady.As ifshe were dealing with everything effortlessly herself.James said to Phil, "You don't want to see this part.Go out and watch TV fora few minutes."Phil hesitated, then nodded and left."One thing," Poppy said to James as she scooted to the middle_ of the bed.Shewas still trying desperately to sound casual."After the funeral-well, I'll beasleep, won't I? I won't wake up.you know.In my nice little coffin." Shelooked up at him."It's just that I'm claustrophobic, a little.""You won't wake up there," James said."Poppy, I wouldn't let that happen toyou.Trust me; I've thought of everything."Poppy nodded.I do trust you, she thought.Then she held her arms out to him.He touched her neck, so she tilted her chin back.As the blood was drawn fromher, she felt her mind drawn into his.Don't worry, Poppy.Don't be afraid.All his thoughts were ferociouslyprotective.And even though it only confirmed that there was something to beafraid of, that this could go wrong, Poppy felt peaceful.The direct sense ofhis love made her calm, flooded her with light.She suddenly felt distance and height and depthspaciousness.As if herhorizons had expanded almost to infinity in an instant.As if she'd discovereda new dimension.As if there were no limits or obstacles to what she and Jamescould do together.She felt.free.I'm getting light-headed, she realized.She could feel herself going limp inJames's arms.Swooning like a wilting flower.I've taken enough, James said in her mind.The warm animal mouth on her throatPage 46 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.htmlpulled back."Now it's your turn."This time, though, he didn't make the cut at his wrist.He took off hisT-shirt and, with a quick, impulsive gesture, ran a fingernail along the baseof his throat.Oh, Poppy thought.Slowly, almost reverently, she leaned forward.James's handsupported the back of her head.Poppy put her arms around him, feeling hisbare skin under the flannel of her nightgown [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]